#140: what's holding you back
I've been staring at the screen for sometime now. I had a great idea how this post would turn out in my head but my fingers are not doing a lot of typing right now.
Let's do "freestyle" and just go with the flow...
I was just reading some tweets about holding back and how I, too, are going through something similar.
You guys know how much I love my YouTube channel, right? And how much I am enjoying this journey.
Here's a secret: I'd rather have strangers watch my videos than my real-life friends.
Why am I holding it back... especially from my friends?
It comes from a very vulnerable place - a place of fear of being ridiculed, fear of not being taken "seriously" and fear of this question: What will they think?
Deep down in my heart I know that I have friends that will support me all the way.... but I also know there are those that may just say... "What's this syok sendiri thing you're doing?"
And that does not help when my motivation runs low.
WHAT WILL THEY THINK?
I want to change that. I no longer want to holdback.
I want to treat what I do on YouTube as a craft, as a form of personal expression of my creativity. I want my videos to be informative (and entertaining).
I want to be proud of what I do and proud to tell the world about it... be it family members, friends, and even strangers on the internet.
It's a slow process, still a work in progress, but I hope sometime this year I can get comfortable saying... "I am Syaf and I am a Vlogger... watch my videos!"
If people don't care what I do... it should not matter.
If they care and show their support, then I need to count my blessings.