@phatelara guest post: Defining YOU: How changes come from within and not from others

By @phatelara

Growing up, I was not the friendliest or the most outgoing person. I was more quiet and reserved; the typical Capricorn. I was also shy, I still am, especially with strangers or people I barely know. I've been told by close friends that I take quite some time to warm up to people, which I think is a problem.

I have always wished that I'm friendlier or at least have that approachable look. 

Now that I'm an adult, I understood that being shy and reserved is not a curse, and it does not mean that I am unapproachable.

People told me that I look unapproachable because they were intimidated. Funny, because I never thought of myself as intimidating. I was the one who's always feeling intimidated of others.

However, whether you're outgoing and friendly, or quiet and reserved like me, there's nothing worse than letting your personality be defined by others. 

It irks me when people let others define them. No one can change who you are but yourself, and that only happens when you really want to change. People can label us, judge us and say anything about us. We can never stop them from saying anything, but what we can do is just to not listen to them, and not letting what they say get to us.

I know it's easier said than done, but if you keep on telling yourself that, you'll never stop caring about what those insignificant people say about you. Their opinion shouldn't matter, after all, it's your life and your choices. Perhaps, if you really want to listen to others, listen to your parents or your close friends, but not those who don't care about you at all, especially when the going gets tough.

“Isn't it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up?” - Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens

People are always going to have tons of things to say about us, no matter what we do. Why not just do our thing, our way, and give them something good to talk about?

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CREDITS
Text: @phatelara, first published here
Image courtesy of Maple / FreeDigitalPhotos.net