Wednesday, April 16, 2014

How to be happier in all aspects of your life by Miss A [GUEST POST]

By Miss A

We're about to enter the fifth month of the year and how's the 2014 New Year's resolution getting along. Wait… remember that question we keep asking ourselves back in January: “What’s your new year resolution?"

Let me recall my answer: “Um, to fulfil what my heart desire?”

Okay, I’m a liar. I want to change my life so that it would be better. But I keep making excuses like, I don’t have time, not enough money, not pretty enough, I’m a boring person, blah blah blah.

2013 has taught me a few lessons in life especially on my love life and work. These two things have made my life turned up-side-down in both good and bad ways and I am sure most of you have some sort of experience regarding these two subjects.

Getting the job of your dream is wonderful. But learning that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side will make you stop for a while and wonder “Hmm I did not expect this!"

Same with falling in love and thinking that you have finally found the love of your life, only to find out after a year later you are destined to be single. This is when you will say “Damn it, I thought I have it all figured out!”

I admit I have taken some wrong turns in dealing with these problems, causing more mess throughout the year.

What is it that made everyone feel empty, discontented and moody all the time? I made a list of the possible factors that could make you feel like you are on autopilot most of the time.
  1. Love life sucks
  2. You are not motivated anymore whenever you think about your job
  3. Money issue = headache
  4. Friends; either you have no one to hang out with over the weekend OR you have abackstabber among your friends
  5. Mommy and daddy keep pressuring you on the M word
  6. You hate the place you are renting at the moment
  7. You want to try something new but you don’t have the confidence
So those are the seven factors I could think of at this moment that could make you unhappy.

Everyone can just go to you and say “Hey! I have a solution”.
  1. Find a new boyfriend/girlfriend
  2. Change your job!
  3. Find a job with better salary
  4. Socialise and ditch the ungrateful friends
  5. Tell your parents you will get married when you have found ‘the one’
  6. Find a new place!
  7. Believe in yourself and you will have the confidence
Hah! Easy for you to say. But the reality is that it is not as easy as it sounds like. So today, let’s talk
about how we can really do something with our life.


So this boyfriend/girlfriend of yours suddenly decided to end the relationship without any valid
reasons. You feel devastated but you still keep making efforts because you want to fight for your
relationship. But then you stopped because you’ve come to realize that you have been fighting alone
and the other person just wants to let go.

Yeah it’s difficult.

You know how they say it, “When you’re in a relationship suddenly there are a lot of people
interested in you, but once you’ve become single, nobody is interested anymore.”

So what CAN we do? Let me share with you some of my secrets.
  1. Ask your friends to hook you up with their friends randomly. It is just a date and a good way to socialise with new people. But remember, DO NOT think about getting into a relationship just yet.
  2. When out with your friends at Mamak for example, and you see this cute guy/girl sitting at the table next to you. You want to get to know him/her but you are too shy. For girls, write your name and number on a piece of paper and make your friends give the paper to the cute guy. For guys, gather your courage and just go and ask for the girl’s number. Hey! You don’t know them right? What do you have to lose? Exactly, nothing.

You have lost your motivation. You don’t feel excited anymore whenever you think about coming to
work. So what do we do here? Honestly, I am still in the dilemma. But let’s try something new.
  1. Wake up each morning and force yourself to smile and think that it is going to be a good day! What if it turns out to be a bad day? Hell, that’s okay. What’s the worst that could happen? You already hate your job! LOL! Yeah I’m not helping. Okay, what I’m trying to say is, try making each day a good one. Think that it’s going to be great today. If something bad happens, just take it as a lesson. Smile when you’re driving to work. Smile when you’re at the entrance of your office. Smile when you see that horrible boss of yours or that fat ex of yours or that s*ut you hate. Just smile and listen to your favourite song while doing your work. Make stupid jokes with your colleagues. If they don’t laugh at your jokes, then just laugh at yourself!
  2. Discuss with your best colleagues on what you guys want to do OR should do. Maybe propose new ideas to the boss? Or maybe start a new business together. Or start looking for new jobs together.

Where to find easy money? I’ll tell you where. Become a prostitute. Hehe. Kidding! Yes, as you all
have figured it out, there’s no easy way. But remember, all problems have solutions.
  1. Ask around and let your friends know if they found out about any part time/freelance job.
  2. No part time job? That’s okay. Start buying groceries and cook at home. Imagine having your "ME" time. Start boiling those broccolis and put it beside your scramble eggs while waiting for your chicken on the pan. Don’t forget to sprinkle some salt and pepper. Go to the fridge and pour some ‘milo kotak’ in a glass and then sit down in front of your laptop while watching Bridget Jones! Save money by cooking.
  3. Don’t know how to cook? LEARN! Or you could limit yourself to two meals a day. That way you can save your money and diet as well.
  4. Before thinking of killing yourself by the end of the month, start dividing your money every month for petrol, toll, parking, phone bill, house rent, car loan, etc. 



I’m sure you have your own best friends. If your answer is no, it is either you’re always lazy to make time for them or you’re having a fight with them.


  1. Make time. No matter how busy or tired you are, always make time for your friends. Youdon’t know how much time you have with them. You want time to be alone? Sure that’s good. But not forever. You don’t want to end up being one of those old ladies who only have cats as their friends. Or worse, you don’t have a chance to hang out with your best buddies anymore. Because darlings, life is short. Make sure you don’t do things that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
  2. Backstabbing friends. Hmm is this a trick question? Most people would say, ignore and ditch them. I had some experience on this. What I did was, I try to keep that friend with me as long as I could. I believe in second/third/fourth chances. LOL. I do give a lot of chances to people that I care about even though when I’m angry I would say things like “Get out of my life” or “Don’t ever come back”. My opinion is that, it is totally normal for two people to argue with each other or make mistakes. We’re human. We tend to make mistakes. But think about the friendship. Not your ego.


Mom: You’re 26. You’re old. Please get married ASAP.
Me: I’m 26 and fabulous. I’m young and not done with the dating life yet *snaps fingers*

Ha…. as if! You will find a knife at your neck if you say that to you mother. Instead, try this method I
did with my mom and the whole family.
  1. LAUGH. Yes, laugh every time they bring up the M word. Just go like “haha. Yea. Haha. Haha. Haha. Hahaha”. They will get tired of it and leave you alone for awhile because they will get annoyed when you just keep saying ‘haha’. LOL!
  2. SMILE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Just smile politely and don’t say a word. They will get tired eventually.
  3. Tell your parents honestly that you’re just not ready for the responsibility and that you haven’t met the one person worth risking your life for.

You’re living with you brother/sister? You have annoying nephews/nieces? You want peace in your
own room but the kids’ stuff is all over the place? Yeah, find a new place.
  1. Try to get your best friends moving in together with you to a new place. That way you will feel more comfortable because you already know them instead of having psycho housemates.
  2. Browse around for the best deals. We used our heart when it comes to picking our boyfriend/girlfriend and look where it got us. So this time, take your time and think properly.
  3. Keep it to your budget because I am sure you do not want to commit suicide by the end of the month.

I am not totally sure about this but let’s experiment! I will tell you what I want to do and what my
plans are.
  1. I want to travel. I am afraid. Why? I don’t have enough money for that. I haven’t started saving till now. My mom won’t let me. What if I got kidnapped when I’m in Italy? What if someone rob me and then kill me? I have my fears. But here’s the plan. Starting March I will start saving because I’m planning on going for a short holiday in Malaysia this February. LOL. So this savings will be used maybe around mid 2015 or 2016? I’m going to Ireland, Scotland, Wales, France, Spain, Italy, Greece, Romania, Germany, Norway and Boston, USA. Yes people, I will achieve that!
  2. I’m going to tell my boss that I’m ready for more challenges by March or April. That is after I start doing my research and gather my confidence for it.
  3. I’m going to propose new ideas to my boss so that I get to do what I want instead of just being told what to do.
  4. I want to take beautiful pictures. I’m not a graphic designer or someone who studied photography. But I think I may have some talent on photography (Yes, that’s a little bit of confidence there). Photography has this influence on me that I can’t really describe. 
  5. CONFIDENCE. Honestly, I don’t have the answer on how to gain confidence because most of the time I just act as if I’m confident. Hey maybe this could work! Act as if you have confidence! Hmm never thought of this before. Sometimes I imagine myself like I’m Lily Collins in Stuck in Love (you know.. the romantic movie) or Samantha Jones from Sex and the City OR most of the time, I’m Blair Waldorf or Serena Van Der Woodsen from the Gossip Girls series. That’s how I act as if I have confidence. True story.
To be honest, I haven’t quite figured out what I want to achieve in 10 years time. For some lucky
people, they know what they want. But I don’t. I think some of you can relate. Or not.

What I know for sure is, I want to see the world. I want to get to know people from different cultures. I want to explore everything this world has offer me. I can’t wait to see what God has planned for me.

One day I hope I could say, “Hey this is the new and improved me!”

Though I still find it mysterious on how to achieve this, but I think the mysteries that make our lives interesting and colourful.

I hope you will share your experience, thoughts or advise here in this blog. Write it as anonymous if you want to, but it would be wonderful to hear to other’s point of view.

***
I am motivated by your LOVE. Say HELLO!!
Connect with motivationMY: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
Connect with Syaf: Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn

Friday, February 21, 2014

Thought for the Day: How a simple 'Hello' can make a difference #JustSayHello



The world works in the funniest way really. I wanted to write a blog post immediately after KinkyBlueFairy commented on two blog posts here on motivationMY.com. She is so up there in the blogging world (plus, she is a Fairy right? hehe) and I'm so *malu* to have someone like her reading some of my posts and leaving comments too.

I wanted to write about how it's an important validation for me as a Blogger. I know it's such a simple gesture but it made a difference to me. To know what I wrote connected to someone and for that person to actually leave a comment. We live in a world of micro-blogging. 140 character tweets. Liking Instagram photos and Facebook statuses. Not many people do actually blogging. Even with readers, not many actually leave comments.

That's why I try my best to leave a comment at most blogs I read. I know the effort it took to actually crack your head, write, and be vulnerable enough to share something so deep and personal to the world.

Basically, the blog post I was about to draft is on the importance of validation. I've covered the topic a few times here but I guess it's something that must be written again and serve as our #notetoself.

Then… *this is the part where the-world-works-in-a-very-mysterious-way comes in*

I was just having dinner after work last night when I read that O, The Oprah Magazine and Skype have launched a new campaign called Just Say Hello.



Just like the name, it's a simple campaign for us to say HELLO to strangers, co-workers or just old friends.

You know why it's such a brilliant campaign? It's because we don't say HELLO much in this part of the world.

"Kau giler ke apa," someone might say to us if we say HELLO to a stranger.

But of course there are good samaritans around *just staying positive here*.

As you know I work odd hours, the last thing I want to happen when I'm in the condo's elevator at 1am is for it to stop at some random floor. True enough, the lift stopped at my condo's Pool/Gym level.

"Jangan la hantu masuk," I quietly told myself.

It was this expat from the Middle East. He was in his suit, looking very sharp and he greeted me, "Good Morning!!".

That little gesture brought a smile to my face. Someone is actually greeting me. In the lift!!! All that tiredness went down the drain *Drama*

So when I reached my floor, I joked with him: "Good Night…. wait, Good Morning!!" After all, it is 1AM in the morning.

We both had a laugh *Wahhh didn't know I could be that funny!*



See… whether it's a simple Hello, Good Morning, Good Night, What's Up… however you want to greet someone, it does make a difference. It may not solve your day's problem, but at least, it could put a million-dollar watt smile on your face.

"Reaching out, even in the smallest ways, can inch us closer to more meaningful relationships, which research shows can prevent much of the damage social isolation causes. People with larger social networks are less likely to get sick, and their memories are sharper," writes Dr Sanjay Gupta on Oprah.com

After reading his article, I want to be more mindful of my interactions.

Do read more on the campaign here. Tag #JustSayHello on your social networks to share your own stories. Perhaps you said HELLO to some random guy in the LRT, or you met an old friend again. What did you guys eventually talked about? I'll be sharing my own stories from time to time in support of the #JustSayHello campaign and I hope you will do the same!

***
I am motivated by your LOVE. Say HELLO!!
Connect with motivationMY: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
Connect with Syaf: Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Thought for the Day: Still learning and still trying my best



"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every time people tell me things like, “Hey, you’re so positive” *points to @motivationMY's Twitter, Instagram and Facebook accounts*
I always reply, “Just trying my best.”

Ok, fine. I'm sort off borrowing KinkyBlueFairy's first two lines in her recent blog post Trying my best.

But I love her blog post about trying our best. Whether we're a college student, a young executive or an entrepreneur, I do believe that all of us are just trying our best in creating a better life. That could mean an attempt to make more money, get more clients, doing our best during our pitching sessions or just doing things that make us happy.

I'm just three months away from celebrating my 28th and as I enter "the late twenties" group, I just feel like I'm still trying.

I still remember when I was still in my early twenties. Ah, the good old college days and I had this mentality by the time I enter my mid to late twenties, I was so sure that I would have everything figured out.

In actual fact and after reading KinkyBlueFairy's blog, I am still learning... and I am still "figuring it out".

Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful with my journey so far, but what can I do next? How can I be more innovative and creative?

Or maybe I should ask, how can I stop spammers from commenting on this blog, and have more REAL readers sharing their thoughts *Seriously, I do not know why there are a lot of spam in the comment box, until it's an automatic reflex to delete its messages on my BlackBerry or iPhone*

There are so many questions in my head right now. It's scary. But the least that I can do is to try my best - both in my professional and personal life.

What are you going thru right now?

***
I am motivated by your LOVE. Say HELLO!!
Connect with motivationMY: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
Connect with Syaf: Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Question of the Day: What do you usually do on your Sunday?

Not many may know this, especially new readers (*wave*) but this blog started with our Question of the Day, where I ask @motivationMY Twitter followers some random question related to personal development or current issues. It was fun until I had no time to moderate the question and copy+paste each answer here!

Then again, I kinda miss that interaction and was thinking of doing it back once in a while (maybe!). Thanks to Instagram, I can also add some cool graphics and stuff.

Just a few hours ago, I asked this question:



And I got three responses (*yayyy* better than nothing):

@fakhrul_razi_: Eat eat and eat

@dr_as: Working

@noreenamore: Spending time and talking to strangers so that on Monday I have new inspiration to start the week. Hahahahaha.

How do you usually spend your Sunday?

***
I am motivated by your LOVE. Say HELLO!!
Connect with motivationMY: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
Connect with Syaf: Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

NEWS: The boy who just wanted 1 Like on his YouTube video

Sometimes we adults think we have it all figured out but kids can teach us a lesson or two too! Meet Josh who wanted 1 (just ONE!) Like on his YouTube video. It somehow went viral and he received thousands of Likes and 68,000 YouTube subscribers (and counting!).

Moral of this story is… when you don't demand so much from the world, it will reward you in ways unimaginable.

Watch this video as Josh thanked his YouTube fans:



Source: The Huffington Post Good News

***
I am motivated by your LOVE. Say HELLO!!
Connect with motivationMY: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
Connect with Syaf: Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn

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