We're about to enter the fifth month of the year and how's the 2014 New Year's resolution getting along. Wait… remember that question we keep asking ourselves back in January: “What’s your new year resolution?"
Let me recall my answer: “Um, to fulfil what my heart desire?”
Okay, I’m a liar. I want to change my life so that it would be better. But I keep making excuses like, I don’t have time, not enough money, not pretty enough, I’m a boring person, blah blah blah.
2013 has taught me a few lessons in life especially on my love life and work. These two things have made my life turned up-side-down in both good and bad ways and I am sure most of you have some sort of experience regarding these two subjects.
Getting the job of your dream is wonderful. But learning that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side will make you stop for a while and wonder “Hmm I did not expect this!"
Same with falling in love and thinking that you have finally found the love of your life, only to find out after a year later you are destined to be single. This is when you will say “Damn it, I thought I have it all figured out!”
I admit I have taken some wrong turns in dealing with these problems, causing more mess throughout the year.
What is it that made everyone feel empty, discontented and moody all the time? I made a list of the possible factors that could make you feel like you are on autopilot most of the time.
- Love life sucks
- You are not motivated anymore whenever you think about your job
- Money issue = headache
- Friends; either you have no one to hang out with over the weekend OR you have abackstabber among your friends
- Mommy and daddy keep pressuring you on the M word
- You hate the place you are renting at the moment
- You want to try something new but you don’t have the confidence
Everyone can just go to you and say “Hey! I have a solution”.
- Find a new boyfriend/girlfriend
- Change your job!
- Find a job with better salary
- Socialise and ditch the ungrateful friends
- Tell your parents you will get married when you have found ‘the one’
- Find a new place!
- Believe in yourself and you will have the confidence
about how we can really do something with our life.
So this boyfriend/girlfriend of yours suddenly decided to end the relationship without any valid
reasons. You feel devastated but you still keep making efforts because you want to fight for your
relationship. But then you stopped because you’ve come to realize that you have been fighting alone
and the other person just wants to let go.
Yeah it’s difficult.
You know how they say it, “When you’re in a relationship suddenly there are a lot of people
interested in you, but once you’ve become single, nobody is interested anymore.”
So what CAN we do? Let me share with you some of my secrets.
- Ask your friends to hook you up with their friends randomly. It is just a date and a good way to socialise with new people. But remember, DO NOT think about getting into a relationship just yet.
- When out with your friends at Mamak for example, and you see this cute guy/girl sitting at the table next to you. You want to get to know him/her but you are too shy. For girls, write your name and number on a piece of paper and make your friends give the paper to the cute guy. For guys, gather your courage and just go and ask for the girl’s number. Hey! You don’t know them right? What do you have to lose? Exactly, nothing.
You have lost your motivation. You don’t feel excited anymore whenever you think about coming to
work. So what do we do here? Honestly, I am still in the dilemma. But let’s try something new.
- Wake up each morning and force yourself to smile and think that it is going to be a good day! What if it turns out to be a bad day? Hell, that’s okay. What’s the worst that could happen? You already hate your job! LOL! Yeah I’m not helping. Okay, what I’m trying to say is, try making each day a good one. Think that it’s going to be great today. If something bad happens, just take it as a lesson. Smile when you’re driving to work. Smile when you’re at the entrance of your office. Smile when you see that horrible boss of yours or that fat ex of yours or that s*ut you hate. Just smile and listen to your favourite song while doing your work. Make stupid jokes with your colleagues. If they don’t laugh at your jokes, then just laugh at yourself!
- Discuss with your best colleagues on what you guys want to do OR should do. Maybe propose new ideas to the boss? Or maybe start a new business together. Or start looking for new jobs together.
Where to find easy money? I’ll tell you where. Become a prostitute. Hehe. Kidding! Yes, as you all
have figured it out, there’s no easy way. But remember, all problems have solutions.
- Ask around and let your friends know if they found out about any part time/freelance job.
- No part time job? That’s okay. Start buying groceries and cook at home. Imagine having your "ME" time. Start boiling those broccolis and put it beside your scramble eggs while waiting for your chicken on the pan. Don’t forget to sprinkle some salt and pepper. Go to the fridge and pour some ‘milo kotak’ in a glass and then sit down in front of your laptop while watching Bridget Jones! Save money by cooking.
- Don’t know how to cook? LEARN! Or you could limit yourself to two meals a day. That way you can save your money and diet as well.
- Before thinking of killing yourself by the end of the month, start dividing your money every month for petrol, toll, parking, phone bill, house rent, car loan, etc.
I’m sure you have your own best friends. If your answer is no, it is either you’re always lazy to make time for them or you’re having a fight with them.
- Make time. No matter how busy or tired you are, always make time for your friends. Youdon’t know how much time you have with them. You want time to be alone? Sure that’s good. But not forever. You don’t want to end up being one of those old ladies who only have cats as their friends. Or worse, you don’t have a chance to hang out with your best buddies anymore. Because darlings, life is short. Make sure you don’t do things that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
- Backstabbing friends. Hmm is this a trick question? Most people would say, ignore and ditch them. I had some experience on this. What I did was, I try to keep that friend with me as long as I could. I believe in second/third/fourth chances. LOL. I do give a lot of chances to people that I care about even though when I’m angry I would say things like “Get out of my life” or “Don’t ever come back”. My opinion is that, it is totally normal for two people to argue with each other or make mistakes. We’re human. We tend to make mistakes. But think about the friendship. Not your ego.
Mom: You’re 26. You’re old. Please get married ASAP.
Me: I’m 26 and fabulous. I’m young and not done with the dating life yet *snaps fingers*
Ha…. as if! You will find a knife at your neck if you say that to you mother. Instead, try this method I
did with my mom and the whole family.
- LAUGH. Yes, laugh every time they bring up the M word. Just go like “haha. Yea. Haha. Haha. Haha. Hahaha”. They will get tired of it and leave you alone for awhile because they will get annoyed when you just keep saying ‘haha’. LOL!
- SMILE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Just smile politely and don’t say a word. They will get tired eventually.
- Tell your parents honestly that you’re just not ready for the responsibility and that you haven’t met the one person worth risking your life for.
You’re living with you brother/sister? You have annoying nephews/nieces? You want peace in your
own room but the kids’ stuff is all over the place? Yeah, find a new place.
- Try to get your best friends moving in together with you to a new place. That way you will feel more comfortable because you already know them instead of having psycho housemates.
- Browse around for the best deals. We used our heart when it comes to picking our boyfriend/girlfriend and look where it got us. So this time, take your time and think properly.
- Keep it to your budget because I am sure you do not want to commit suicide by the end of the month.
I am not totally sure about this but let’s experiment! I will tell you what I want to do and what my
- I want to travel. I am afraid. Why? I don’t have enough money for that. I haven’t started saving till now. My mom won’t let me. What if I got kidnapped when I’m in Italy? What if someone rob me and then kill me? I have my fears. But here’s the plan. Starting March I will start saving because I’m planning on going for a short holiday in Malaysia this February. LOL. So this savings will be used maybe around mid 2015 or 2016? I’m going to Ireland, Scotland, Wales, France, Spain, Italy, Greece, Romania, Germany, Norway and Boston, USA. Yes people, I will achieve that!
- I’m going to tell my boss that I’m ready for more challenges by March or April. That is after I start doing my research and gather my confidence for it.
- I’m going to propose new ideas to my boss so that I get to do what I want instead of just being told what to do.
- I want to take beautiful pictures. I’m not a graphic designer or someone who studied photography. But I think I may have some talent on photography (Yes, that’s a little bit of confidence there). Photography has this influence on me that I can’t really describe.
- CONFIDENCE. Honestly, I don’t have the answer on how to gain confidence because most of the time I just act as if I’m confident. Hey maybe this could work! Act as if you have confidence! Hmm never thought of this before. Sometimes I imagine myself like I’m Lily Collins in Stuck in Love (you know.. the romantic movie) or Samantha Jones from Sex and the City OR most of the time, I’m Blair Waldorf or Serena Van Der Woodsen from the Gossip Girls series. That’s how I act as if I have confidence. True story.
people, they know what they want. But I don’t. I think some of you can relate. Or not.
What I know for sure is, I want to see the world. I want to get to know people from different cultures. I want to explore everything this world has offer me. I can’t wait to see what God has planned for me.
One day I hope I could say, “Hey this is the new and improved me!”
Though I still find it mysterious on how to achieve this, but I think the mysteries that make our lives interesting and colourful.
I hope you will share your experience, thoughts or advise here in this blog. Write it as anonymous if you want to, but it would be wonderful to hear to other’s point of view.
***I am motivated by your LOVE. Say HELLO!!
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